Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Edginess

Edginess, a prickly dis-ease no-one really likes to experience. But can it serve a purpose?
Why wouldn't it? I believe all our emotional and physical states serve a unique purpose. Unfortunately, those that feel uncomfortable we typically try to avoid or get rid of without consideration of why we might be experiencing them.

Sometimes staying with the sensation can be helpful.

For instance:

In my morning meditation I noticed a faint edginess arise. Rather than using breath to stay calm, I used it to focus on the sensation. As it intensified I noticed it to be attached to an awareness of a historical theme in my life. My earliest emotional memories are latent with an eagerness to be "chosen" or "picked", accompanied by that not happening. I couldn't help but consider how those repeated experiences must have shaped my personality and subsequent defense mechanisms.

Staying with breathe, beyond the awareness of edginess's origins, I noticed an ease and a fading of the sensation. Eagerness to be chosen, upset of being overlooked - not quite so relevant or important. Taking a breath, I don't need to brace myself with defenses. Leaving me more open to accept and receive.....

A good feeling is just a breath away.

Inhale,

Lg

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